here i am

sometimes i wonder if they really put the right number of garbage bags in the box. it never seems like i could have gone through, say, 45 garbage bags. and like you'd count them! i wonder if they bank on that, and try to shave a few pennies off their costs. bastages. m

hello i'm here! i'm here, i'm here, i'm here. the wind is cold, the world is strange. i've had a cold. angry sinuses. cough. something. i have less than twelve weeks left to train for the 1/2 marathon. i decided i hated the treadmill and ran in 4 degree windchill the other day. i might have to go back to the treadmill though. this bums me out. i'm in love. (again. but can this be the last time? please?) and ... i need to write. more. but someone is calling me now. and i answer, i do. m

i feel scratchy and longing. i feel lost and found. i feel ghostly and away from me. i feel in the dark with the hallway light on and the glow of the computer screen lighting up the wrinkles on my knuckles and one tingle in my left shoulder because i didn't do my exercises this week and it's weak. i feel so far away from you and you feel so far away from me but you're in the bottom of my stomach curled up like a warm firm trustworthy ball of a feeling that makes me smile. i'm listening to a song called other side of the world because that's where you are and that's all that i can think of. i went to a chinese new year party tonight. there were some karate kicks and lovely pink fan scarf dances and the best of all was the incense sticks dancing in the dark ... sparks everywhere and i thought the stage would light on fire but it didn't and we all clapped out a good solid rhythm for them and they did a good good job those incense stick kids. i got a red envelop...