here i am

i have a sinus infection. i have the sneaking suspicion that i've had it for a while, but i tried to deny it. i have been sick off and on and off and on and quite miserable. they run in my family; my dad suffered them for years before his body miraculously developed some sort of immunity to them. i've been plagued with them more often than is pleasant for a while now, too. i hate allopathic medicine and doctors and most all of what they stand for and perpetuate, but i finally had to break down (after diligent use of my neti pot, all manner of vitamins, herbs, holistic and homeopathic treatments, and torturing everyone around me with twice daily consumption of raw garlic), admit that my body wasn't going to take care of itself this time, and go get an antibiotic. since i'm allergic to penicillin, i normally end up being prescribed strange and frightening synthetic antibiotics. no exception this time. mysterious, mutant, resistant strains of sinus infections requ...

today was a sunday. sundays are sundays. i didn't get anything done. i rested and watched some soccer and talked on the phone and ate some fruit. i always have big plans for sunday. somehow i never accomplish any of the things i plan to do on sunday. and then i feel sort of guilty and lazy. somehow they seemed like all the good plans to change my life and my person for the better, and not having done any of it means i've somehow failed and i'm doomed to mediocrity. that's the strangeness of sunday. if it's cloudy, it all seems more momentous than it really is. m

call your boyfriend on the phone to ask him to help you double check your ingredients list, and have a 20 minute discussion of just what the hell a broad bean is and what might be its closest english translation. (decide, without telling him, that you'll just get frozen lima beans and hope they're close enough). go to the co-op and get way more organic arborio rice than you need, and don't look at the price per pound. try to play off your 'holy crap!' eyes when you see the total ring up at the till. go to the regular grocery store where all of the veggies are not organic and therefore don't cost a million dollars, but spend a million dollars anyway buying what you think will be enough veggies for two paellas, since you are teaching a girlfriend to make it on saturday and want to do a practice run. get way more veggies than you actually need, even for two paellas. so many veggies that the bleached blonde teenaged asian checker with dangly, sparkly earrings ask...