here i am

Did 12/23 - run/walk today - 2.5 miles. I laced up tighter and paid attention to my footstrike and form more closely. No knee pain a'tall. There is absolutely no way the weather could be more beautiful today. It's a deep cleansing breath kinda day. I saw my first robin. He looked like a little boy with a faux-hawk hairdo. He was cute and tough and ready for spring. A very tiny puppy chased me heartily for a few blocks, followed by two laughing, apologetic boys. Lucky for that puppy that I run so slow! In other news, I'm weary of people. I don't like it when people call me and rant on about something someone else did but refuse to consider my suggestion that they address their concerns directly to the offending individual in question. I know I'm not the patron saint of interpersonal communication myself, but this kind of shit just wears my soul out. M

This morning I did 11/24 - run/walk - about 2.5 miles. Yeep! The new years resolutionaries have hung up their earmuffbands, so I've got the trails back to myself again. Did you think I'd given up? C'mon - I can't let those $100 shoes go to waste now, can I? It wasn't as excruciating as I feared it might be. I wimped out toward the end, but my knee was bugging me ... plus I didn't want to push myself too hard so soon out of the gate again. I'd like to stick with this, if at all possible. I'm so terrible at sticking with things, generally. Well, some things. Other things I'm quite good at sticking with. Lately I'm into summarily dismissing people from my life who don't treat me with respect. It feels good. Like taking a cold shower after a sauna. I'm also wanting to listen to tiki lounge music and drink more red tea. I've just discovered red tea. I like the other colors of tea quite well - green, white, and even black from t...

I'm on break. Wow do I need a break. I just ate two bowls of my favorite raspberries and cream granola that I get from the co-op and had a cup of green and red tea mixed together. It's rainy and chilly and shiver you to your bones-ish and I'm sneezing and my throat acts like it wants to hurt. So ... I took some nasty tasting Echinacea/Goldenseal tincture and I'm just going to take one guilt free do nothing day and go turn the heat up and snuggle under two (count-em two!) blankets and lay on the couch and see if there is anything on my three channels or maybe read a magazine and try not to get sick because I have a week off and I can't be sick I have STUFF TO DO! Wish me luck! M

Another wacky self-portrait ... 

I would have been back sooner, but I got my head sucked into a bucket and I'm still trying to yank it out. I've been sort of squished and molded into something frighteningly unlike me. Something I don't for the life of me have any way of recognizing. I'm trying to unfold myself and push out the wrinkles and the bends and the sleeves pushed up and back and all wrongway. When I start to get it sorted out - finally begin to see a bit of the me that there was before - something recognizable beginning to take shape, but still damaged, irrevocably altered - I gasp in unprepared shock and horror to see the gaping tattered edged eviscerated hole in the stomach of the sweater that was my self. I'm pissed. I'm not holding it together well. I need ammunition. But I'm soft. And quite fucking alone in it. M