last night, i found out that i'm pregnant. as it was unexpected (but not unwelcome), there is a wonderfully complex swirling of emotions and thoughts inhabiting me today. before i found out, when i was still just wondering, worrying ... there was an anxiety inside of me ... and now that i know, it's still sort of there, but less so. it's turned into a sort of wonderment. there's nothing to fear; everything just has to work out now. i'd been inching ever closer to feeling that i wanted children - from the 'no way, not me' of once upon a time, to the 'well maybe someday' of a few years ago, to the 'yes, i'm pretty sure i do, but not now' ... to 'yes, i do, soon' to ... well, today. sometimes life chooses you. things are definitely not perfect. i'd like to be richer. i'd like to have insurance. i'd like to own a home, or at least a shot in hell at doing so. i'd like not to have just started a new job and hav...