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Done gunning to get closer ...

I think I freaked enough about turning 29 that 30 is going to be much more of a breeze than I'd anticipated. I'm starting to get what they say about what it is to be in your thirties. I'm starting to understand what it is to really not care what anyone thinks - least of all the raging critic in my head. I think he's due for retirement sometime soon here.

I had that brief moment of sheer utter panic and dismay when it hit me that I would never be as taut and fresh and perky and dewy and scintillating again as I may have once been ... then I got over it. I was shocked to even ever have had that moment in the first place. I'm even more starkly floored that I got past it. That would have been an ugly way to live any more of the moments of my life, for sure.

I spent an awful lot of time figuring out what it was I didn't want for and of my life. And don't get me wrong, that was important work that had to be done (as awkward and painful as the process was), but I'm glad it's over. My soul is grateful to see that the task at hand - figuring out what it is that I do want - is much more hammock than ski lift.

I like easing down life's path catstretched smooth in my very own soon to be thirtysomething skin.

It's okay. It's good.

In other news, I raced a go-kart today, and I kicked major ass. I am the Danika Patrick of go-kart racing.


M

Comments

Murph said…
Congradulations!!!

Sounds like you finally crossed a major evolutionary hurdle. (Some folk never get over the socially ingraned need to please, most never fully overcome it;) Loss if inhibition (without the aid of chemicals) can be very rewarding, and, I think you will find, very liberating, also at times very entertaining.

Cheers.

P.S.
(trying not to sound like that creepy internet guy you tell your co-workers about)
You still have much to offer in the taught and scintillating department.
5:32 pm
mayim said…
Well you certainly just made my day ... Wait - is that ironic?

;)

M
6:12 pm
Kristiana said…
Damn, that was so my turning-30 experience. Upheaval and acceptance, or something like that. T'was so long ago I hardly remember. **
3:28 am
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