i miss my friends.
having sort of made the biggest part of my growing up and into the person i am during college, i made a lot of the most fast friends of my life in a time and place of flux for all of us. we have gotten more and more spread out physically, and sometimes otherwise, as the years have worn on. scattered more and more afar. seeing one another less. talking less and less. one more goes, and another. academics tend to find jobs whenever and wherever they can. creative types have a wanderlust. people who want to make change go where the change is needed.
and then i got married moved and sort of stopped making new friendships. and then i got un-married and ... what? the couple friends, few we had ... i dunno.
i have made some good online friends as well. met some incredible people i would otherwise never have connected with. some i have met in real life, some i might someday, some i likely never will.
but the connections are nevertheless the same. they are just as strong and impassioned. there is something about the way i am drawn to people i connect with that is deep and lasting and sometimes heart-rending. when i care, i care fiercely. i admire people with depth and intensity.
perhaps not so unique a way of going about things - in fact i know it isn't, because the people i love are the same way. that's why the connections are so strong.
bonds are formed that defy boundaries of time and space and practicality.
i see the people i love from afar, and i almost feel to cry for my esteem of them. i see all my friends struggling and fighting to express themselves, living day to day and doing the things they love, making sense of the world, making art of making life. just doing, being, feeling.
the thing about my friends is that they are people who want the best for me, and i want the best for them, no matter what. sometimes i hope that sending that love from afar is enough. enough to keep relationships alive, enough to will some goodness into their experiences.
but sometimes i'm afraid that we'll all eventually lose touch forever, and whatever power we may have to positively affect one another's lives will wane.
that whatever it is that makes up those powerful bonds will eventually cease its power to hold us fast. That i'll get too far away.
i want to pack up all my friends in a box, and when i get to my final destination, let them out to play together at one big gigantic party of my heart, and never let them go.
m
having sort of made the biggest part of my growing up and into the person i am during college, i made a lot of the most fast friends of my life in a time and place of flux for all of us. we have gotten more and more spread out physically, and sometimes otherwise, as the years have worn on. scattered more and more afar. seeing one another less. talking less and less. one more goes, and another. academics tend to find jobs whenever and wherever they can. creative types have a wanderlust. people who want to make change go where the change is needed.
and then i got married moved and sort of stopped making new friendships. and then i got un-married and ... what? the couple friends, few we had ... i dunno.
i have made some good online friends as well. met some incredible people i would otherwise never have connected with. some i have met in real life, some i might someday, some i likely never will.
but the connections are nevertheless the same. they are just as strong and impassioned. there is something about the way i am drawn to people i connect with that is deep and lasting and sometimes heart-rending. when i care, i care fiercely. i admire people with depth and intensity.
perhaps not so unique a way of going about things - in fact i know it isn't, because the people i love are the same way. that's why the connections are so strong.
bonds are formed that defy boundaries of time and space and practicality.
i see the people i love from afar, and i almost feel to cry for my esteem of them. i see all my friends struggling and fighting to express themselves, living day to day and doing the things they love, making sense of the world, making art of making life. just doing, being, feeling.
the thing about my friends is that they are people who want the best for me, and i want the best for them, no matter what. sometimes i hope that sending that love from afar is enough. enough to keep relationships alive, enough to will some goodness into their experiences.
but sometimes i'm afraid that we'll all eventually lose touch forever, and whatever power we may have to positively affect one another's lives will wane.
that whatever it is that makes up those powerful bonds will eventually cease its power to hold us fast. That i'll get too far away.
i want to pack up all my friends in a box, and when i get to my final destination, let them out to play together at one big gigantic party of my heart, and never let them go.
m
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